Do you guys remember when the first Shrek movie came out? I faintly do, it was a pretty witty movie about accepting yourself. But the one very odd thing about the Shrek movie was that directly after it got popular, a ridiculous amount of Shrek themed food was made. Which is gross as fuck because green is the last color food should be, besides of course natural foods. Natural foods do not include Twinkies or ketchup though, which for some ungodly reason they decided to make. On top of that, McDonalds also made a Shrek themed parfait called “Ogre Load.” And Snickers made a green creme filled version of their infamous candy bar. I can’t think of literally any reason why they felt the need to create such an abundance of Shrek themed foods, but they existed. And there were a shit ton of them. If you can think of a popular, or even semi-popular food item, it was probably Shrek themed at one point. Cereals, waffles (they had green dipping sauce because god is dead apparently), toothpaste, fruit roll ups, gummies, basically every food that kids eat. But here’s the weird thing, I can’t think of literally ANY other kid’s movie or show that has influenced food the way that Shrek did. We have Spongebob mac n cheese, and toothpaste, and Dora gummies, but when those shows (and their respective movies) came out they didn’t take over the ENTIRE children’s food industry. Is there any good reason that a movie that had little to nothing to do with food, and partially took place in a swamp, would become the main marketing technique for shitty food companies for a year? Not really. So now I end this trainwreck of a blog post, and apologize for anyone who read that whole thing. In hind sight I should learn how to write a legitimate blog post. But it’s difficult to focus with a room of teenagers talking around you. So bye guys.
Have a nice life.